Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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