You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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