what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
