drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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