That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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