Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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