they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
