Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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