If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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