I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
vagina is talking i cant
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
