We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize