LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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