Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
