he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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