You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
