Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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