my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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