every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
