thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
