does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it because I queefed?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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