She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
