Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
