Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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