i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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