Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
