I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize