She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
