i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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