im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
