I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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