yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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