38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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