AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
