i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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