Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
