Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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