you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
