Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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