We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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