I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
