How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Text me some of your sweat
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
