Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Everclear isn't food dammit
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
