Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
