Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
