he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
tell me about the fingering
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