I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
