He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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