I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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