What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize