I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dick very happy bro
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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