I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
