Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
