Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
