Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish you could order shots online.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
