She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
