So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
