oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
