Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
