I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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