When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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