I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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