david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My pussy is not your playground.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
