My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
