are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
