I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
