Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
