What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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