Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
